1.) Completed another year of college, including a social dance class, biochemistry, and my first upper division biology courses (Histology and Honors Virology), both of which have been hard and scary, but very rewarding.
2.) Completed my Honors Thesis Proposal and most of my research for that thesis over the course of the Summer of '10. Research was both frustrating as heck and personally satisfying, as I never thought that I could do such a thing.
3.) Presented two posters pertaining to my research, once at the STEPMT poster day last summer, and the other last week at MTSU Scholar's Day at Murphy Center! I was so pleased to be able to do both, and it helped prepare me to talk to the thesis defense committee about my research.
4.) Lost 80 pounds (!!) after about a year of constant exercise and no dieting (!!!!!). I finally realized that something had to be done about my weight, or I was going to die young and miserable. I simply changed the amount of food and the types of food I was eating, rather than sticking to some regimented diet, and began running on an elliptical machine everyday for 30-45 minutes. It took a long time, and I still have 30-40 pounds to lose, but I know that I can do it, and I'm so thankful that God enabled me to lose it.
5.) Broke off a relationship with my former best friend, and maintained the "broken-up" state thus far. He is a good person, and I love him dearly. However, our relationship was not healthy (my fault as much as anyone else's) and I knew that we simply had to be apart. It's been hard, but I'm a better person for it, and I trust that he feels the same.
6.) Joined the Hampton Care Family on Tuesday nights, which has been a pretty big deal for me. I love having the time to fellowship with my friends, hang out in a family atmosphere, and eat some of Trudy Hampton's ridiculously good cookin'.
7.) Begun to get involved with MTSU's Baptist Collegiate Ministry, which has been absolutely awesome. I've made some great new friends, and....
8.) I applied and got accepted to the LightMessengers BCM Summer Missions program, and thus will be in the Smoky Mountains all summer doing mission work!
So, yes, it's been an eventful year. I'm sure that the remainder of 2011 will be even more eventful, as I will be taking the MCAT (Medical College Admissions Test) May 26th, and applying to medical school (praying I get into Quillen COM!!!) in June. I will also be completing my thesis over the summer and defending it in November of 2011!!
In other news, I have recently developed a major interest in the Arabic language and Arab culture in general, and so I cannot wait to being Arabic classes in the Fall! I'm super excited, and thought I know that it will take a long time to actually learn it, I know that if it's the Lord's will and if I work hard enough, then it'll happen! :)
Over the course of the last year, I have seen Christ work in huge ways in my life. I find it interesting that He seems to bowl me over with something new every time I think I've learned enough and I've got it under control. I've been reading through the Word and talking with Him consistently, and it has truly changed me. However, I have realized as of late that my struggles to control and micromanage my surroundings have turned me into someone that I never intended to be. Such over-attention to detail has somehow caused my to lose sight of Christ's love for me. My rampant perfectionism made me believe that God held me to the same standard of self-made perfection. I truly struggle with the notion that God cannot stand me because of how sinful and unfaithful I am. However, it was not until a couple of days ago, after a good, long, unexpected talk with a friend that I realized that by missing out on His love, I am not only hurting myself, but hurting others because I am incapable of sharing Christ's love with them if I don't understand or have it myself. This realization caused me to feel a strange mix of sadness, regret, peace, and hope. It was very humbling, and has caused me to re-evaluate certain facets of my life. I really have forsaken my first love, and tried so hard to be perfect, to be everything to everybody, and to act as though I have it all together and don't need anyone's help or advice. I've made my faith into some cerebral venture, as well as another strife-filled pursuit, like school. I assumed that, yeah, grace was good for everybody else, since they weren't capable of being as sinless as me, but I could just keep plugging away, working to earn God's favor and somehow live up to the standards of a law that I had created for myself. It doesn't seem so arrogant or wrong when you're in the midst of it, but once you step back and Christ allows you to see yourself for what you really are, it's heartbreaking. I used to read the Bible and scoff at the Pharisees and Israelites for their legalism, hard-heartedness, and inability to accept the truth. That was, until I realized that I was guilty of all of those things. And it made me into a hard-hearted, mean, selfish person, incapable of loving others because I could not accept Christ's love. I'm still struggling with this, as this realization is rather new. But praise God, because He doesn't allow me to continue in sin forever, and because He loves me enough to expose my darkness to His light. So, with His help, I have hope that I can put away this legalism and strife, and stop putting up this arrogant, "I'm perfect" front to everyone around me. By His grace, I will stop being argumentative, brash, and impatient, and will hopefully bear "good fruit" (patience, gentleness, and kindness, to name a few...) I pray that Christ would completely empty me of myself, no matter how much it hurts, and fill me with HIS love. His faithfulness, patience, and goodness amaze me more and more with each passing day.
I decided to start blogging again, both to keep me honest and down-to-earth by sharing about whatever I'm learning at the moment, and to keep everyone updated on what's going on in my world when I leave for my mission at the end of May (5-28-2011).
"Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O LORD supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:17-19).
