Oh Brother.

So. Instead of working on physics, I decided to start a blog. How's that for being productive? I was inspired by a friend, Rachael, who began a new blog at the start of the year. Thought it sounded therapeutic. I can guarantee you that my life is not the most entertaining, the most exciting, or the coolest, but I sure do love it. Crappy circumstances, good circumstances and all. I figure that it will be nice to have some where to vent my academic anguish, relate funny and sad stories, and generally blow off steam. So here goes...

I'm currently working on my online Medical Vocabulary class, and I have to say, this stuff is pretty ballin'. It combines two of my favorite things: medical knowledge and spelling! Lol. I'm a nerd. I know. I'm also simultaneously listening to James Taylor, whom I love dearly. I would totally have his old, bald babies. :) I really want to go see his concert in Nashville in May. However, I don't think I'm going to be able to, because I just broke up with the one person I wanted to go with. I wouldn't want to give him any misleading ideas, and I already have enough emotion tied to JT's music without adding those crazy feelings to it. Carole King is in concert with him, though, and I know that it's going to be an amazing concert. Boo hiss. Relationships (or the lack thereof) ruin everything.

And speaking of relationships...

As I mentioned above, I just broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of this week. My first ever real boyfriend, to be exact. The relationship lasted two months, and honestly, that's just sad. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. I just want to be over it. I never seem to want to give myself a lot of time to deal with things. I'd rather just be done with them as soon as they happen. Maybe it's just easier that way. I don't know. Actually, that statement is the crux of what was wrong with the relationship. He didn't know how he felt about me, he didn't know what or who he was attracted to, and I didn't know if I did or ever would love him. We didn't know. My reasons for breaking up with him were entirely legitimate, and I wish I could just tell everyone exactly what they were. But for his sake, I won't. I really thought that he was going to be the big deal in my life, but I guess that I was wrong.

This relationship could serve to reinforce every bit of my cynicism that I've been able to conjure up over my twenty years. But I don't think that I'm going to let it do that. I still believe that if it's the Lord's will for my life, then I'll find love. It's just the whole "being patient" thing that gets hard. After all, I'm only 20 years old, and I've got a lot to look forward to. So I suppose that I'll just have to keep my head up, my eyes open, and my heart from hardening. We'll see how that goes. :)