I was just reflecting on the many events, people, and things that have brought me to this point in my life. When I think back to the person I was 2 years ago, I am amazed at how far Christ has brought me. This is not to say that I have reached some sort of pinnacle of morality...I'm still a jerk sometimes. I'm still human, of course.
The farther I get in school, the more that I get the feeling that God has something very specific and very exciting planned for me. For a long time, I had my own ideas about what form that plan would take. At this point, I've never in my life been more uncertain as to what direction life will take for me. It used to be that this sort of uncertainty terrified me, and I would do everything in my power to grasp some sort of control, make a plan, etc. Now I find that, for whatever reason, the Lord is allowing me to simply trust Him. The more I come to know Him, the more I realize that this life isn't about taking the easy road, being comfortable, or choosing the path of least resistance. To paraphrase Robert Frost, I would like to be able to say that I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
I do know that He has called me to the world of medicine, though what form that will take, I don't yet know. I am beginning to believe that He has called me to minister to medically underserved populations, whether that is in Saudi Arabia, Nicaragua, or Memphis, TN. All I know for certain is that whatever it is that He calls me to, He will equip me to handle it, and not only handle it, but to thrive. Whatever happens, I simply want people to be confronted with Him when they meet me.
As I adjust to my life here in the Smokies, I am finding that living amongst so many people is both a challenge and a joy. I have a feeling that we are yet to face many issues, but I am confident that no conflict, problem, or issue is insurmountable. My prayer this week is that God would help me to be an observer, rather than a meddler. I have a deep-seated desire to fix things, to be a peacemaker, and to freely dispense my advice. The problem with that lies in the fact that I don't necessarily think like everyone else, and not everyone in the world wants my advice. :) These are facts that it has taken me 21 years to truly understand, but I think I'm getting there.
Pray that He would quiet my spirit, and my mouth. Pray that I would keep a tight rein on my tongue, and that I would use my words to edify, rather than to sarcastically pick at people for the sake of a laugh. Pray that the Lord would give me patience with people, circumstances, and myself. Pray that I would have an undistracted, undivided heart, and that He would give me clarity and discernment as I seek to know exactly what or whom to give my heart to.
Please pray for our team here in the Smokies, that we would be unified, patient with one another, loving, and considerate of the fact that we are all adjusting to this lifestyle. Pray that we would strive for excellence in our planning of day camps and worship services, rather than slapping them together at the last minute. Pray that above all, we would know Him as intimately as possible, and that we would be so filled with His love that it simply spills over into others' lives.
Pray especially for me this week, as I work on my medical school application, that the Lord would give me clarity, and inspiration to write my personal statement.
Lastly, I have yet to meet an international student that I can really click with and pour into, so pray that the Lord would bring me to someone who needs to know His love, and that I would have sense enough to recognize them and love them as I should.
I love and miss you all!
Grace and Peace,
Cari
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